"You can't go around it"

My second baby was helped into the world by a skilled and hilarious midwife (Ronni from Womanwise Midwifery), my husband, a wise and supportive doula (Christina from Well Born Baby) and a tough but lovable L&D nurse who took great care of me well into recovery. You could say it was sort of a dream team.

When we arrived at the hospital on a Friday evening, I was almost 8 cm dilated and in the throes of transition (not a fun car ride, let me tell you). When it was time to push, I gave it what I thought was my best try. Ronni took one look, stared me right in the eyes and in her signature matter-of-fact tone said "Honey, this is a thing with second timers. You can't trick it. You can't go around it, you can't go under it. You have to decide to go through it." Christina chimed in with words of support and encouragement and for a moment time stood still.  To me it felt like we were the only three people in the whole hospital, maybe the whole world.

And then it became clear. Dammit... they were RIGHT. I'd sort of blocked out the pushing part from my first birth, but all of a sudden I remembered vividly and I wanted OUT OF THERE. Fight or flight at its best.

I can't describe how important it was, in that poignant and fearful moment, to have those two women there telling me that they understood what I was feeling, they'd seen it before and they had confidence that I was going to get through it. They knew how I wanted that birth to go and they were helping me get there. I know that if I'd expressed a preference for a different type of birth, they'd have helped me toward that outcome, too.

A moment of panic and doubt was met with what felt like the midwife/doula equivalent of a locker room halftime pep talk and I gave it another go. I will spare you the glamorous details, but less than a half hour later my beautiful 8lb 13oz baby was in my arms. I am acutely aware that it might not have happened as ideally without the support and attentive care of the professionals in that room, especially at that pivotal moment, and I will be forever grateful. I seek to bring this same level of steadfast support, personal attention and deep understanding to other moms during their birth experiences.