In college and for several years after graduation, I was a coxswain. Most people have no clue what that is. Every once in a while you get someone who says "Ohhh, that person who sits in the back of the boat and yells 'ROW'." Uhhhh, no.
From Wikipedia: "In rowing, the coxswain sits in either the bow or the stern of the boat... and verbally controls the boat's steering, speed, timing, and fluidity. The primary duty of a coxswain is to ensure the safety of those in the boat. In a race setting, the coxswain is tasked with motivating the crew as well as steering as straight a course as possible to minimize the distance to the finish line. Coxswains are also responsible for knowing proper rowing technique and running drills to improve technique."
I stumbled into the role when I arrived at Bates College in Maine... and looking back I realize what a fateful, lucky and smart decision it was to join the crew team. I know now how much the experience taught me about leadership, motivating and influencing others and really about just being a functional human.
Let's pick it apart. The coxswain:
- Ensures safety and carries the full trust of the team (none of whom, it is worth pointing out, are facing the direction in which the boat is headed);
- Motivates the crew to push through pain and find levels of achievement they didn't know they could reach;
- Steers a straight course, adjusting to create efficient and effective responses to natural and man-made obstacles;
- Advises on technique to ensure, for instance, that every one of those eight oars enters the water at precisely the same time (otherwise the boat lurches around and dumps from side to side, upsetting the rhythm and speed).
(Seeing the parallels to being doula yet?! I sure as heck do.)
Anyway, I spent a lot of time sitting in that tiny little coxswain seat, hooked up to a microphone, learning how to be confident in my own leadership and intuition. And I got to be pretty good at it.... earning myself two Head of the Charles medals and a literal boatload of friends who trusted my leadership. (Oh, and a husband, who happened to row on the same team. But that's a story for another day.)
One of the things I loved about being a coxswain was getting into a boat full of novices and helping to impart skills, confidence and enthusiasm. In that setting I was able to help people who had never set foot in boat achieve goals they'd only been able to talk about. I consider myself a novice in the childbirth arena - my experience at this point is limited to my own two births, a litany of reading and stories from friends - but in the coming years I hope to gain enough experience to confidently advise, help and coach laboring mothers through what may be for them a totally uncharted experience.
Coxing taught me a few things about what it takes to gain the unquestioning trust of another human, and how much that trust matters when real pain comes into play and stakes are high.