A few months back I took my two little girls into the pediatrician for their annual check-ups and vaccinations.

My four year old was due for a boatload of shots. Four, to be exact. She's got a dramatic streak and isn't super big on pain, so I was bracing myself for a scene.

My husband and I did our best to prepare her. We talked with her before the appointment about what vaccinations do. We told her there would be more than one shot and that each would hurt momentarily, but then it would be fine. We practiced taking a deep breath and counting slowly to three... by which time the shot would be over.

Right before the nurse came in, and with her consent, I gave her four tiny pinches - two on each arm - and told her that's what the shots would feel like. She seemed unfazed and crawled up into my lap, remaining there calmly through all four injections. Not a flinch, not a tear, not even a hint of the epic freak-out I had been expecting.

(The nurse sort of just stared at me as if to say, "Is your child a robot?" For a moment, I wasn't sure.)

I think we did right by little J in telling the truth, helping her develop a frame of reference and teaching her a couple of ways to cope.

I've heard of people having painless childbirths, and I hope I witness that someday. But mine weren't painless... in fact, they were far from it. I wonder whether it is better to expect pain and practice coping strategies than to ignore and avoid it. Although you will not know what childbirth (or breaking a bone for that matter) feels like until you do it, ask yourself some questions. Does expecting pain stress you out or cause anxiety? Or, would you rather go into a potentially painful situation without your expectations set, without a basic set of coping skills? Would you rather do some work to help get your head in the game?

I don't know the answer... I suspect that each person's experience and preference is different. Part of the role of a doula is to help a soon-to-be mom work through some of this and think through what might be most comfortable and effective for her.